What IF...NIAW

It's National Infertility Awareness Week again.  Even though Mark and I have been trying to overcome infertility issues for well over 3 years I've only written my thoughts on the topic twice.  February 2011April 2011 I try to be very open about it, because I've found other people tend to feel/act less awkward if I'm open with my thoughts and experiences about TTC.  When I didn't share people seemed to feel like they had to "be careful"  about that they did or said.  Most of our close friends know at least the basics and know that we've become okay with it.

For about the first year we were pretty much just doing the best we could without help.  That is the norm because infertility at our age is defined as "the inability to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term after 12 months of trying to conceive"1.  Right around the year mark I reached out to a friend that I'd heard had problems getting pregnant.  With her encouragement, I asked my OBGYN what else we could be doing that we hadn't already tried.  At that point we started the real roller coaster ride.  Since then it's been drugs, tests, procedures, charts, & ultrasounds.  Still no pregnancy, but life is better than it has been.  After more than 3 years it's - - - normal.  When Mark and I got married in 2007 our five year plan included a masters degree, 2 children, and hopefully a house.  We're celebrating our 5th anniversary this weekend in our new home!  Most of our plan panned out, but it's still sad that we're not parents.  I realized a few months ago that most of our marriage we have been struggling with IF. :-(  The good part is we can look back on our marriage and see the way IF (infertility) has strengthened our relationship. :-)  It has been stressful at times for sure, but it has truly has made us stronger than we were.  When we finally do become parents I think we'll be wonderful!  

Part of this year's NIAW is to talk about an IF if.  So my Infertility if is "What we couldn't have done if IF weren't part of our life."  Yes, I'm aware that probably isn't what RESOLVE had in mind when it asked us to spread awareness of infertility.  However, I think life is better when you look at the silver lining instead of the big dark storm cloud.

1. We've taken surprise vacations ~ Savannah GA

2. Gone to Italy ~ Colosseum, Rome

3. Mother's Day vacations ~ Williamsburg, VA

4. Mark graduated from the Fuqua School of Business with less debt than normal in part because I was still working. ~ MBA at Duke

5. I've learned a new skill. ~ Cake Decorating

6. DeYoung family vacations ~ Coba Ruins, Mexico

Some of those things we did specifically to take my/our mind off TTC, but most of them are just experiences we've been lucky to have the opportunity to participate in.  Dropping everything to have fun with family and friends is a lot easier when you don't have to worry about packing up the kids or finding a babysitter.  I'm happy we have gotten to do a lot of exciting things without kids, but we'll be even more happy to be parents in the future.  Do you know the song Trace Atkins sings called "You're Gonna Miss This"?  When I start to get frustrated with the process I try to remind myself that I'm like the girl in the song.  Always looking forward to what I don't yet have.  I need to just sit back, relax, and enjoy the time we have to develop our marriage.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but I do believe that babies will come when the Lord has decided the time is right.  Now would I complain if one joined us 9 months from now?  Absolutely not, but we're trying to make the best of what we have now!